findxme

The block hits me like a drop in the rain, I barely notice it’s there until I can’t remember how to frame a question in a rhyme or figure out what to write and it’s making me crazy like a flickering light and maybe it’s because I’ve got so much going on. I mean, who in their right mind writes while doing twenty other things at the same time? But writing to me is like breathing the air, like inhale, exhale, and dream. How do I not when the words swirl around my head and the time ticks away in a way that I dread? And every single second that passes on a clock makes it harder for me to breathe, makes it harder for m

Ah, my heart betrayed. What words express my soul's dismay? And on tipping toes I wander along the blade's edge twixt anger and sadness. But I should be remiss To hope to heal quickly this opened, butchered madness.

The wind hits me on these plains some days like I've been punched in the lungs. It takes- no rips my breath away as though my airways were Band-Aids that cover the names of each person who holds a piece of my soul. And each name is a wound, uncovered too soon and bleeding too, dripping red on my sleeve where my heart used to bloom. And I have cried too often to pretend I don't know love; but I better know the breaking and crumbling apart of dreams. And some days, the broken parts can lodge in my throat, choke me up and make me lose hope. But the wind some days takes my need to breathe away. And the wounds are healing in their own ways.

You told me once "I always knew I could love infinitely," and maybe you can, but not me. Because you picked up the pieces, arranged the like a heart and patched up the parts like they were whole. And you see, I was still broken deep inside because parts of me were just gone. But the catch of this is that you were broken too, had no self-worth, I still don't think you do. But I gathered you up and kissed the hurt away in a way that hasn't worked since you stood on top of the jungle gym and pretended to be a princess. I told you "always" and "never" and "forever" and I said them with "love you" and "leave you" and "yours". And oh yes, I was you

I am content in my self. For though I am not the most perfect version of me, I am more than I was. I am stronger, braver, and smarter. I am lighter in the face of adversity. And my roots go further than all the trees on this mother to which I cling. I have learned through purpose and coincidence and accident and without intention. Mostly learned I of love. Love is a strange and seasoned thing, passion and fire, water and pain. A dichotomy and dissonance, a static wave.

I was born in Kansas, on the Oz side of the rainbow. And I've got to say that the sunsets here are incredible. And I know that it comes from all of the pollution from global warming and the denial solution, but there are colors in the evening sky that I often times cannot even describe. I see every shade of light like the prism is my shadow; I can't even imagine what I'd be like as a monochromatic gal though. I've got blue in my veins and green in my eyes and when the sun is in my face, the light that reflects from me will surprise you. And I walk like I'm strong, and talk like I'm brave, especially on days that I'm honest to God afraid that

Tonight I want forever, I want ever after and tomorrow and the day after. I want what I see when my parents see each other after a long day and twenty-seven years later, I can tell that they looked at each other the same on their wedding day. I want to be rocked back by the look in a woman's eyes when she sees me laugh, when she holds me when I cry and loves me so hard that I feel like I'm going to die. I want to know that I'm coming home at night to someone who will forgive me for being myself, for someone who will love me in spite of myself. And there are days when I think that I don't need love, that it's worthless and hopeless and painful

I have overcome many obstacles, I have strengthened my will, I have become a force of reckoning, But nothing prepared me still For leaving you asking me, Saying, please don't go. My will dissolved almost, My strength faltered ever so. I wanted to stay, your body and mine Wrapped and rapt in The ways of time. And though dreams beckoned And though we lay in sync, Duty called, loyalty tugged on me. So different, but familiar still Your profile in the light of the sill Your touch the same, Your meanings different, We've both grown up, Learned strength, persistence Some signs betrayed still, Some tells left unsaid, Reminds

She sat on the opposite side of the couch as we talked. She sat and she stared at me. It was strange; we hadn't seen each other for four years, not since we had broken up in high school. We had changed, each of us, into completely different creatures. But some things were the same. She had the same expressions as she did then and her laugh was the same. It had been my idea, hanging out with each other, I was curious how we had changed, so was she. We had talked about our lives, learned about each other all over again, but there was a tension between us that made me nervous. She watched me, examining something that I didn't realize was showing

Ah, what beauty hath thou seen in the mist of the morn? What wandering, wily wit flits quickly through to veil? Is it a wanting, a hope, a shade, a terror that leaves you so torn? What hopes alight still thine mind that leaves such cares? Thoughts of me? No, thine heart is not held here, but with another. 'Though most often this mist shows in mine eyes this soul as thine lover.